dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ketchup is God's man juice
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
