We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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