quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
