Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
