a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
