Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I had to cum in my sink.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
