im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Are my feet made of real feet?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had sex on a dog bed..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
