Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
