i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
