I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
