I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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