The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
