i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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