I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
