UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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