I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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