she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
