i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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