Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
