why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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