Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
