Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
