i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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