I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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