were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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