I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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