Don't you send me to vm
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
