i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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