She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All the doctor said was why
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
