think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
