I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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