can we get nightvision for the apartment?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
