he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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