i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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