As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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