I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
