look no pants
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
