i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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