Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
