So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
