I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
