4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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