Whoa Z and x make the same sound
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
