so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
