Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
