I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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