i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
