Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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