he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
