dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
